Heath's Bells

Why am I actively rooting for Heath Bell to be traded? Two reasons.

First, while I agree with Joe, admiring Kyle Blanks’ courage to ignore his last name (see below), I don’t admire Heath Bell’s courage. The courage to ignore his last name and not piss on Trevor Hoffman’s grave by using "Hell’s Bells" as his entrance music. And if you’re wondering, Hoffman’s grave was dug sometime in 2006; his corpse occupied the mound from 2007-2008. I definitely would have pissed on that grave and Heath Bell should have too. "Hell's Bell's" was too perfect of a choice. Or, at the very least, like we've mentioned here before, he could have used the “Saved by the Bell” theme song for 9th inning duties. “Blow Me Away” is such a shitty pick.

But, more importantly, Mike Adams plays for my fantasy team and I'm weak on saves. That's why Bell should be traded.

This is my first year seriously playing fantasy baseball and I’m hooked. I love playing around with my roster (just traded Randy Wolf for Mike Gonzalez and dropped James Loney for Francisco Liriano – this is the year Liriano puts it together, trust me). But, the biggest move I can make rests on the shoulders of Hoyer and co.

This is probably the reason old-school baseball guys hate the idea of fantasy baseball. You stop rooting for the team and focus in on the individual player. Well, for that reason and because David Eckstein’s grittyness isn’t accounted for in traditional 5x5 scoring.

My fantasy reasoning for wanting Heath Bell gone does have real world logic though and does show I'm putting the Friars first. Mike Adams has legitimate potential as the closer. He’s been dominant the past two years. If Heath Bell can get flipped for a solid prospect and our 9th inning doesn’t miss a beat, then what’s stopping you, Jed?

Besides, like I said, I really need saves.