Wrapped Up

By Nick McCann

Chris Young's first start since May 21 was a success, throwing five scoreless innings with eight strikeouts. Arizona's Doug Davis held the Padres hitless for 6 2/3 innings before Brian Giles singled in the seventh. Clay Hensley took the loss- the wrap up on last night’s Padre game against the Diamondbacks from MLB.com posted this morning.

I can’t decide if the Padres are like the heroin addict in the family that everyone has given up on, who doesn’t get invited to family functions, and forces everyone close to him to change their locks. Or if they are like a pack of annoying teenagers that come up to you in a mall and make a joke at your expense that only makes sense to them. Nobody wants to know a heroin addict-unless they deal heroin. And nobody really wants teenagers for anything-unless you are a stage parent for a cast member of High School The Musical.

Last night I decided to watch Sex In The City (again) with my girlfriend instead of the Padre game. At the beginning of the season, when we decided on what to watch in the evening, she would politely ask if I wanted to watch the Padre game. It is usually on when we both get home, and well, she knows how I feel about the Pads. As the season has gone on she has stopped asking because when ever I glance at the Padres during a game while flipping between channels, I get really upset. Not post super bowl statistic upset, but she understands that I don’t want to be a Cleveland Browns fan freezing my ass off at Municipal Stadium every winter trying to prove that I am truly faithful.

Now days, I wake up and check the same paragraph every morning on the Internets. The Padres’ MLB.com wrap up is quick, easy, and stripped of hometown “let’s look at the positive” bias.

Today, in checking what I HAVE to check, I found out that Chris Young still gives you 5 good innings of work, even after a smashed face, while Doug Davis can give you over six innings of good work when pitching to a Triple A ½ team. I also learned that Brian Giles still can hit a single, and Above all, I learned Clay Hensley is back on the team, and that nationally, his name means a pitcher who gives up three earned runs.

I care more about getting coffee this morning than watching the game tonight. This series should have been a meaningful series, but now it is just a few sad paragraphs similar to…(see: above).