This past Friday night Josh Elwell convinced me that we should arrive early to Petco for the first ever Padres Beerfest! There would be dozens of tents and local breweries and a special appearance from the cast of the film Beerfest! For some reason that last detail was the kicker for me. I have no clue why though. Was I going to hang out with them? No. Would I buy them a beer just so I could say I did? No. Would I even actually see them? Not likely. However, I still went. There are not enough words to describe how much of a mess this beerfest was. I can only tell you that Josh and I entered the “fest” at 5:20pm, bought two overpriced beers at once and left the “fest” at 5:35pm to go watch batting practice.
After seeing Randy Wolf try and dive to make a catch while shagging BP we went to the Padres Team Store. I can’t tell you how expensive everything in that store is. It’s almost embarrassing. However, I did find an all orange Padres beanie for $15! I’m pretty sure I am the only Padres fan who would (and did) purchase that item, and am convinced the Padres made it just for me. Thank you Jeff Moorad.
We find our seats and meet (presumably) our season seat neighbors. Section 120 just above Field Level. Not bad.
TOP OF THE 1ST INNING
- Clayton Richard is on the mound for Padres. This is the first time I’ve gotten to see Richard pitch this season. He’s 1-0 with a 0.82 ERA. Not bad.
- Richard strikes out Rickie Weeks, Josh says, “That’s the beginning of a perfect game. I’m calling it now.” Cursed.
- I’m slowly figuring out that our seat neighbors are exactly like us if all we cared about was baseball and Frank TV.
BOTTOM OF THE 1ST
- Dave Bush on the mound for the Brewers. Josh gives him 4 innings. I give him 5.
- Tony Gwynn JUNIOR draws a leadoff walk.
- The Bobblehead is up! At-a-boy!
- Gwynn steals, Eckstein moves him to 3rd.
- Josh just said the words “Ryan Klesko” and immediately A-Gonz grounds into a double play. The curse of the Surf Dog lives.
END OF THE 1ST: PADS - 0 BREWERS - 0
In between innings they show a picture of Bob Uecker on the Jumbotron and wish him a quick recovery. From what? He’s still alive? Are they trying to raise him from the dead?
TOP OF THE 2ND INNING
- A guy in the stands makes a diving catch for a Prince Fielder foul. Best play so far.
- I spot someone with an Eric Owens “Dirty Shirt.” My heart swells. He should have retired a Padre.
- Perfect game is over as Fielder walks. No-hitter still intact.
- Was anybody else aware that Gregg Zaun is still playing? Or that he spells his name with two g’s at the end?
- No-hitter over as Zaungg singles.
- Alcides Escobar looks like he is 12. I hate getting old. He also bats like he’s 12. Strike out.
First Jeff Krapf sighting. He picks a kid who can’t read to introduce Will Venable over the PA. Come on Krapf! Test these kids!
BOTTOM OF THE 2ND
- Ladies and Gentlemen… left fielder… Matt Stairs!
- He walks. It matters not. Hundley and Hairston Jr. out
END OF THE 2ND: PADS - 0 BREWERS - 0
TOP OF THE 3RD INNING
- The guy who sells the Hot Chocolate at Petco wears a backpack full of it and pours it like a keg. He looks like the Kay-Bee Toys version of the Rocketeer.
- Jody Gerut up for the Brewers. I liked him when he was a Padre. I like him more as a Brewer.
- Hairston Jr. makes two errors (scored as hits - bull) and now Weeks is on 3rd and Braun on 1st. Two outs, Fielder up.
- Hundley makes a bad ass play and saves the inning.
Jeff Krapf does the Jack in the Box game. A huge piece of me hopes he says “Deuce” again. He doesn’t. It’s okay he’s proven himself.
BOTTOM OF THE 3RD
- Tony Gwynn JUNIOR proving his worth hits a single. Only 2,750 more till you matter.
- Eckstein (working the count) hits a double. At-a-boy!
- They walk A-Gonz to get to Headley. Will history repeat itself once again? Nope. Headley flies out, Gywnn tags up and scores but Eckstein gets tagged out trying to reach third (okay, he’s not superman, it’s fine if he gets tagged out every once in a while).
END OF THE 3RD: PADS - 1 BREWERS - 0
FOOD BREAK!!! Josh and I go on a quest for garlic fries, which proves to take way too long, and we don’t find any. What? Bummed. Josh gets the Kept Faith Combo #1 and I get regular fries and a ½ pound RJ Slugger. A huge freaking hot dog that is (surprisingly) delicious. On our search we run into one of the guys from Good Neighbor, a very funny sketch comedy group. Do yourself a favor and watch their videos. Our food break takes way longer than expected…
BOTTOM OF THE 6TH INNING
- Dave Bush still in the game. We were wrong.
- The Padres show a little life. I feel nothing but the curdling noise of the RJ Slugger trying to claw its way out of my body.
END OF THE 6TH: PADS - 1 BREWERS - 0
TOP OF THE 7TH INNING
- Gregerson in for Richard. I disagree with this decision, as Richard looked great. Seven strikeouts!
- I’m proven right as Dave Bush gets a hit.
- Someone started tossing a beach ball around. People start booing. This is not my beautiful house, this is not my beautiful wife.
- Hairston Jr. makes a great play to throw out Bush at 2nd.
- Weeks steals 2nd.
- The usher finally gets the beach ball and pops it. People now boo the usher. Make up your minds! Pro-beach ball or anti-beach ball, you can’t have it both ways!
BOTTOM OF THE 7TH
- Ok, after the 7th inning stretch it’s official - The RJ Slugger was a bad idea.
- Hairston Jr. leads off with a double.
- Hundley sacrifice bunt, Hairston Jr. to 3rd.
- “Scoot” Hairston up. Come on, man, give your older brother a ride home! Scooter homers! Josh and I yell, “Brothers!” repeatedly until Scoot reaches home where his brother is waiting. They give a double high five. We give an “Ahhhhh.” Brothers.
END OF THE 7TH: PADS - 3 BREWERS - 0
They show a montage on the jumbotron of “Pet Bloopers.” More disturbing than what people have filmed these pets doing are the homes these pets are living in.
TOP OF THE 8TH INNING
- Mike Adams in to pitch. I’m not totally okay with this. If you read my last diary you know he kind of imploded on the mound.
- He does not look sharp. Throwing a lot of pitches. He pulls it together, but it takes him almost 30 pitches to get out of the inning. We need him to rest a bit.
Jeff Krapf is doing “Guess the Attendance” with a lady who is not good at this. She guesses 23,669. Not on overpriced beerfest night, lady! He gives her another chance to get it right and she does - 29,636. Jeff gives her a $25 gift certificate to Coco’s. So I guess she loses (I guess we all lose).
BOTTOM OF THE 8TH
- They finally take Bush out. Villanueva in.
- I’m surprised at how many Brewers fans are in attendance. I like Brewers fans. Like Padres fans, they get it. And by “it” I mean 3rd place finishes and a future of maybes.
- Headley reaches first on a foul tip 3rd strike. Steals 2nd. Josh notes, “Headley’s on pace for 60 steals this year!”
- The 85-year old Oscar Salazar in to pinch-hit.
- The Wave starts to go around and Salazar doesn’t. Strike three.
- A drunk guy yells at the Wave, “C’mon! It’s not football! Stop it!”
END OF THE 8TH: PADS - 3 BREWERS - 0
TOP OF THE 9TH INNING
- Bell in to close it out. He sprints in from the bullpen. The crowd seems to be giving him a bit more love than usual. Trying to shove in Trevor’s face maybe?
- Bell strikes out the first batter. Metal riffs everywhere!
- Gregg Zaungg singles. Zaungg looks like Robert Patrick. Or a rapist. Or Canadian.
- Bell finishes it off with a strikeout and pop out!
END OF THE GAME: PADS - 3 BREWERS - 0
Amidst the post-game celebration of high fives and “Bro-Hymn” what looks like a shirtless 12-year old boy runs on to the field. My section goes wild. It is, in fact, a shirtless 12-year old boy half streaking. Security guards are on the move, are they gonna? Yes, indeed they do tackle the boy. Way to go security. Class all the way. As the boy is being escorted off the field fans are giving him a warm round of applause. He gives a subtle wave to the fans. At-a-boy! The future friar faithful look just fine.
My home record now stands at 3-0.
Let’s keep this train moving Pads!
1 comment:
Ha! Curse of the Surf Dog...
They tackled a 12-year-old boy? Good thing it wasn't that big cat that played for Parkview Little League. They would have probably tasered him.
Maybe the kid was scared because the Padres have been wearing those white militia jerseys. Sunday is kids day! Slinkies and hand-grenades to the first 10,000 kids. Perhaps the marines in Yemen can all dress as the Surf Dog while they are doing raids. Surfs up!
Post a Comment