The Value Of My Time

By Joe Chandler

The Padres have been playing terribly lately and because I live in Los Angeles, where there is no television feed, I haven’t been subjected to a single inning of it. Watching the season from afar has been a great relief to me. There is a certain peace that comes with waking up in the morning seeing that the Padres lost by ten and moving on with my day. As it begins to shape up like a bad year for the team (the “no money” approach wasn’t going to work forever) I revel in the freedom of not having to actually suffer through the games. Here is a list of what I’ve done over the past few days that is not watching the Padres race towards fourth place:

- Watched an inning of a Dodgers game in order to check in on a fantasy player
- Went 3-0 in my fantasy baseball league.
- Put in an extra hour at work.
- Cleaned my bathroom.
- Got really drunk.
- Got kind of drunk.
- Felt guilty about my drinking.
- Felt guilty about things I did while drinking.
- Realized that weird things happen when you drink and stopped worrying about it.
- Drank, but not that hard.
- Then sort of lost track and ended up drunk again.
- Nothing.
- Killed a guy…by drinking.

All this comes while still following the team. They’re still my guys and I still silently pump a fist when I look at MLB.com in the morning, but if I lived in San Diego I would’ve stayed up for every inning of the 22 inning game. Instead I sat at home and read a book about economics. It may not sound better, but trust me, it is.

How about them Padres, huh?