I Am Organized Gaming Guy

By Nick McCann

The next five days are very important. Two weeks ago, I found out that because I pre-ordered my John Madden NFL 09 football game at the Game Crazy store by my work, I also attained an admission to their yearly Madden tournament that is held every year on the day leading up to the game’s release. So, on Monday at six o clock, six hours before 09 comes crashing into society, I will be getting “it” on.

If my girlfriend were Carrie Bradshaw, she would bitch to her friends over cosmos that she is now dating “Organized Gaming Guy.” This is not somebody I have ever wanted to be, but I am excited to join that world for one night. The top Madden Players in the world make six figures a year, and I’m sure hardly any of them went to college. This is fascinating to me because it is a sub culture of guys who attain basically the same level of confidence that successful athletes do, with out receiving praise from the general public. Tom Brady can make millions of dollars being the best at what he does, but he can’t walk a block in any major city in the world and not get hounded by everyone walking by. Meanwhile, a top gamer can master a digital version of Tom Brady, be the best at what he does, make 4 times as much as his parents, and never even have to pay an agent. Sure, I would rather be Tom Brady than some shitbag on ESPN’s Madden Challenge, but I wouldn’t mind being on ESPN competing at something either.

John Madden Football is like Harry Potter in the sports gaming world. It is ridiculous that we can’t play the new game just a few hours before they release it, but there are strict rules against allowing anyone play before midnight (the clerk who signed me up for the tourney gave me a terrifyingly scary look when I asked about this. He made it sound like they put a chip in his skull that would explode if he touched one of the boxes containing 09).

In the world of Madden Football, when the clock strikes midnight on August 12th, it will be like bringing in the New Year. If some fat hairy dude with a Jake Delhomme jersey tries to kiss me at midnight, I will probably slap the shit out of him, but I will know where he is coming from, and I won’t take it too far and stomp on his neck.

I’m telling myself that I am only going to do this once (although, I am prone to lying to myself), so I need to have a good showing. Because 08 is the game I need to brush up on, this means I have to train…hard. I think because the Olympics will have started, I will be inspired to play at least 15 games before Monday night (on PS3. The tourney will be on the XBox. This is a source of concern, but I love that I have this concern).

Renting the 08 game will feel odd. I haven’t gone to a store to rent a video game on a Friday night since probably early high school (something I am kind of proud of). This will be different, because it will have a purpose. I’m now an organized gamer. I am 28. I am lame to a degree that I am comfortable with.