The Final Four Of The NBA

By Nick McCann

There was an explosion yesterday at the new Hilton Hotel being built downtown, Jake Peavy had an MRI on his arm, and the Cardinals kicked the crap out of the worst team in Major League Baseball, our San Diego Padres. As a city, we have had better days.

At lunchtime before the news of the explosion had reached me, one of my non-threatening female co-workers whom I generally like, came up to me while I was scanning over the Padres’ schedule, and asked, “So which game are you going to?” Three seconds after the words left my mouth, I almost regretted telling her to fuck off.

It’s cool, she listens to speed metal and we curse a lot at each other on our breaks.

Although she understood, she knew she had to change the subject, so she started talking about how her boyfriend was really into the NBA and the San Antonio Spurs. I have found that she talks about her boyfriend a lot. They are not living in the same city and at the end of the summer, she will move out to Texas to be with him. Then, they will buy season tickets to see the only major sports franchise in the vicinity of the Alamo, the Spurs (this is crazy to me because they will actually be living in a town that is an hour and a half away from the arena).

I feel no real emotion about her leaving, besides the fact that I have been stealing string cheese from her for four months and she doesn’t seem to have caught on (she actually replaced a girl who I used to steal string cheese from. To be honest, string cheese always tastes better stolen and I rarely eat it any other way). After a few minutes of talking hoops, I decided to lie to her and tell her that I was rooting for the Spurs.

I love that about the NBA. I don’t have to care who wins and I get to root along with people who do care within all the many circles I belong to in my life. There are four teams left and I can root for all of them with different people.

I will root for the Spurs at work because I love stolen string cheese. I will root for the Boston Celtics because I have a Kevin Garnett jersey and my girlfriend is from Boston. I will root for the Lakers because I consider their point guard, Derek Fisher, to be a true friend even though I have never met him, and I generally adore watching Kobe and his storyline develop. And last, I will root for the Pistons because my old college roommate and I can only agree on one thing, we both love Rasheed Wallace for four reasons (A) he was, and probably still is, a productive pothead (B) he truly believes that he is a slave to the man because the NBA is generally evil (even though NBA players are by far the highest paid athletes on the planet) (C) he has a legendary badass temper that he can’t control and (D) he is a very knowledgeable hockey fan from Philly.

I love this game because I don’t have to love any one thing about and it’s almost like I get to be in a one sided relationship that is all about me where nobody gets hurt.

The Kept Faith officially endorses not caring about who wins the NBA Championship, because not caring helps right now.