A Case For an NBA Team

By Dallas McLaughlin

So, this week I was going to make a new sports minute episode, but I decided that trying to play beer pong every night, going to L.A., San Francisco, and then in turn losing my voice, was a better idea. It was.

WHAT?

I am bummed however; I was in two “rival” sports cities and got no outside opinion on the Padres season. But I think if I did it would have gone something like this: “Excuse me, what do you think of the Padres’ dwindling season going into hell?”
“Who?”
THANK YOU!

So, instead I got to thinking. I have been spending a lot of time watching the NBA playoffs (and wishing they actually aired the NHL playoffs.) because they’ve been kickass! KICKASS! KICKASS! I have never been a big regular season NBA watcher, but this season has gotten me all up in arms about fouls, traveling, horrible acting, and Greg Popovich’s hair doing it’s best to stay down! I have always been a bigger Baseball fan than any other sport, but the NBA is creeping its way into my life as a close second. The storylines! The crime! The cheerleaders! I LOVE THIS GAME.

San Diego has never had itself a reputable NBA franchise and it’s something that has knocked this city into a second tier sports hell long enough. The Rockets went the way of early Mexico and then Bill Walton came to town to destroy Republican views, and the Clippers hopes of competing. Since then, we have had a few attempts at “Pro” Basketball but they have all slowly gone the way of the Buffalo.

My favorite incarnation of this was the ABA’s San Diego Wildfire! Featuring the cheerleading/dance squad known there as the Firestarters and known outside of the arena as the wait staff at Chili’s. My friends and I would frequent the Wildfire games at the Sports Arena that could seat close to 20,000 (these games drew close to 300). We would pay for nosebleeds and walk down to courtside because no one cared. What was so amazing was how we could heckle and the players would hear us – then threaten us – then we’d shut up. But, alas when you draw no fans and become more famous for violence outside the arena rather than your team losing to the Vermont Frost Heaves inside the arena, you go belly up and the fire is no longer wild (It got pretty bad near the end. To the point where at one of the last home games players had duck tape on the back of their jersey’s with their name written in sharpie on the tape).

As a bigger city in America we deserve a top notch NBA franchise! Or at least another shot at one. I mean, even Charlotte has a team and we could draw as many fans as the WNBA right?

RIGHT?

Right now, as San Diego sports fans we are dealing with the possible departure of the Chargers, another terrible season for the Pads, and the fact that the winningest franchise in the our city’s history were an indoor soccer team called the Sockers*! It’s a bleak future and the only way I can see our town’s leaders making it better is by welcoming a new form of mediocrity to our cities scoreboards! We need basketball and basketball needs us! I mean think of all the awesome cut-a-way shots they could do of Charles Barkley at Sea World getting splashed by Shamu during broadcasts! Think of Kobe coming to town (hide your daughters!), and think of that first San Diego Battleships’ (you know that’s what we’ll be called) superstar being hauled off in hand cuffs after driving drunk into a Bennigans!

I LOVE THIS GAME!

So, I am officially putting this issue on the floor. As the campaign for our new Mayor heats up, I want us loyal Kept Faith Battleship supporters to protest and argue and ask the question – why not us? Who cares about who is lying about what Government spending! Tell me when I’m gonna see a lay-up!

THERE, I SAID IT!

Steve Francis for Mayor and you know which Steve Francis I’m talking about. San Diego Battleships 10! We can do this people!

*When I ran spell check it did not recognize the word Sockers and instead gave me the option of changing it to Suckers. It’s like even Microsoft Word knows how much our city sucks at being competitive!