Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Welcome to Petco, Charger fans.

Welcome to Petco, Charger fans. My name's Josh and I’ll be your tour guide.

To the left you’ll see former Cardinal home run hitter and current Padre double play hitter Ryan Ludwick.

To the right you’ll see Jorge Cantu and Brad Hawpe arguing over who’ll make us forget about Adrian Gonzalez. The answer? C. None of the above.

Up the middle are three guys we’re just getting to know ourselves. Mr’s Hudson, Bartlett, and Maybin. They’re all new to the team and it turns out they’re the ones replacing Adrian. It's hard to explain, but our offense will actually be better this year, even after losing the only guy who hits HRs at Petco. It's true. All the credit goes to Jed Hoyer, our wonderful GM. Oh yeah! Almost forgot to mention that. We have a likable GM. Good lucking getting used to that.

We understand you’re only here until the NFL lockout gets resolved. But please, grab a $5 beer, stay awhile. You know all those crushed dreams you have of a Chargers championship? The Padres wouldn't dare build you up like that. Our ace pitcher is already on the DL! Less expectations? Less disappointment.

So leave those expectations on the new bridge that lets you cross over Harbor Dr. to get to the park. Oh! I didn’t tell you that yet!? Yep, we have a new bridge. And it cost a lot of money. Here it is:

We also have a very affordable 20-game season ticket plan. (I’m actually on this exact plan! Come hang out with me!)

Opening Day's today. We take on the Giants. Come. Root against them. I know that that'll put you in the minority of the people attending, but do it anyway. We want Maybin to stay awhile.


Anonymous said...


Jeff Marketing Moorad said...

In '04, Carlos Delgado refused to stand for the National Anthem. He's officially retired now. His protest is not forgotten. Bonds Witch Hunt: